What We Carry, and Who Carries Us
- Claire Chandler
- 17 hours ago
- 3 min read
It Takes a Team – Episode 1
With Jennifer “Jiff” Chapman
“Everybody’s got something. Everybody needs somebody. Find the safe, nonjudgmental person who can walk alongside you as you unpack what you’ve been carrying.”
There are conversations that educate.
And then there are conversations that change the way you see yourself.
The pilot episode of It Takes a Team was the second kind.
When I sat down with Jennifer “Jiff” Chapman, I expected to talk about resilience after a stroke. What unfolded was a much deeper conversation about identity, overachievement, advocacy, and the invisible weight high performers carry.
If you are a leader who holds it together for everyone else — you will see yourself in this conversation.
From “Victim” to “Warrior”
Jennifer refuses the label "stroke victim."
She is a survivor. A warrior.
That shift — from “Why me?” to “Why not me?” — isn’t semantics.
It’s ownership.
As leaders, the language we use to describe our circumstances shapes how we move forward. It shapes whether we stay stuck or step into responsibility.
When You Don’t Have a Voice, You Need an Advocate
Jennifer was initially misdiagnosed with vertigo.
It was her aunt who stepped in and demanded further testing — ultimately leading to the discovery of three blood clots in her brain.
She survived because someone advocated when she couldn’t.
Healthcare leaders are often the advocates.
But here’s the harder question:
Who advocates for you?
Strength does not mean self-sufficiency.
And if no one is positioned to step in when you’re depleted, overloaded, or compromised — that’s not resilience. That’s risk.
The Hidden Cost of Overachievement
Before her stroke, Jennifer’s identity was tethered to external achievement — numbers, awards, recognition.
Five months after nearly dying, she returned to corporate sales.
For 18 months, she cried in her car between meetings — trying to perform at her pre-stroke level while silently unraveling.
High performers know how to function while fractured.
Healthcare leaders are especially good at this.
But pushing through unprocessed weight doesn’t eliminate it.
It compounds it.
“You Have to Feel to Heal”
Time doesn’t heal.
Processing heals.
Jennifer described how her brain initially protected her by numbing emotion. It wasn’t until the one-year anniversary of her stroke that everything surfaced.
If pain isn’t processed, it waits.
And it often shows up later as burnout, health issues, strained relationships, or quiet emotional shutdown.
The Emotional Backpack
Jennifer shared the metaphor of an “emotional backpack” filled with bricks:
Unresolved grief
Shame
Old stories
Expectations
Childhood imprints
Through her own coach training, she discovered something striking:
She had her stroke at 34 — the same age her mother died when Jennifer was 11.
Unprocessed grief doesn’t expire.
It embeds.
As leaders, if we don’t unpack the bricks, we carry them into our teams, our decision-making, and our culture.
The Question That Stopped Us
Jennifer asks high performers:
“Who are you outside of what you do and the roles you play?”
Most answer with titles.
Executive. Parent. Partner. Leader.
But when she asked a healthcare leader to say, “I am enough,” she broke down.
She could say, “I am doing enough.”
But not, “I am enough.”
In healthcare leadership, worth is often tied to output.
That belief quietly drives exhaustion.
It Takes a Team
Jennifer’s recovery wasn’t solo.
It was anchored by:
Family
A coordinating neurologist
A coach she intentionally chose
People willing to sit beside her while she unpacked
Her closing message:
“Everybody’s got something. Everybody needs somebody.”
That’s the heartbeat of this entire series.
You are not meant to carry this alone.
Not the responsibility.
Not the pressure.
Not the invisible weight.
Core Leadership Takeaway
Sustainable leadership isn’t about pushing harder.
It’s about building the right team around you — intentionally.
Because if critical support roles are missing, the cost shows up somewhere:
In your energy
In your decision quality
In your health
In your culture
And most leaders don’t realize there’s a gap until something breaks.
Free Resource: Leadership Team Mapping
Inspired by this episode, I created a simple but powerful tool that helps you:
Identify the support roles you actually need (not just the titles around you)
Map who currently fills each role
Spot the gaps
Decide what conversations need to happen next
Because high performance is not an individual sport.
And if you don’t intentionally build your support structure, you will unconsciously over-function to compensate for what’s missing.
Download the Leadership Team Mapping Tool
If this conversation resonated, don’t just reflect on it.
Take 15–20 minutes this week to map your team.
Clarity changes behavior.
And one intentional conversation could shift the trajectory of your leadership — or your health.